Monday, August 13, 2012

Life is about creating yourself

 "Life is not about finding yourself; life is about creating yourself."

As I look at the flashing icon at the top of my blog, I have to confess that this quote is more of  something for me to strive for, rather than a belief that I have already adopted. Lately I have been trying especially hard to not worry as much about what I should do, but to let go and try things that I want to do.

Such a thing can be quite a scary prospect for someone like me. One time, my English teacher gave our class a quiz to find out whether we favored classical or romantic views. I think my score was almost tied. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I must be a romantic at heart, but with realistic boundaries (as a result of some reality-checking life experiences). But really, should one chose the safe, practical path, or the seemingly unattainable dream?

Before now, I would have always defaulted to the first option. I knew that dreams were looked down on by reality. Dreams wouldn't pay the bills. Dreams wouldn't be respected. Oh, so it worked out for a few people? That just couldn't work for me; those people were lucky, outgoing and confident.

Such thoughts still come to mind when I look at that flashing icon. But lately, I have begun to realize that I don't know if I want to miss out on my passion. I don't just want to read the words; I want to be a part of the story. I don't want to plunk out the individual musical notes; I want bring a theme to life. I don't want to just scribble down sentences; I want my words to create beautiful pictures.

Do I dare let myself crack open the door to the risky dream? Is it possible to choose both sense and sensibility? For now I guess I will just continue to admire that never-ending, cycling icon as I gain courage to not only think about what I should do, but what I want to do... :)

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